If you want a free way to make friends, I have a life hack for you: paint your nails (mileage may vary for females). When my nails are blue, people suddenly have something to say to me, it’s great. The cashier at the bike shop loved them, one of my best friends said they were really into guys with blue nails and rings (Are they in love with me?), and someone else pointed out how the color matched my backpack (it’s true, and the reason why will shock you!). Everyone has something to say about them. When my nails are painted, I don’t even have to initiate conversation myself, the nails do it for me. It does come with downsides, though, the chief one being that everyone has something to say about them. I would never paint them back home, even though my brother may understand now that he’s met my “gay friends.”

My dad, who talks endlessly about Donald Trump and reads biased news sites, couldn’t care less. He understands the idea that not everyone fits into tidy little boxes (I’ve never seen my dad hate a person more than he hates Donald Trump). If my mom saw me with painted nails, I would get plenty of side comments, quickly followed by questions about whether I’m gay (derogatory). To be quite honest, I’ve never had a great answer to that question, and I don’t know if I ever will. None of the labels seem to fit me that well.

Alex Motawi