Alex Motawi

It’s Friday of week ten. Ten weeks of rapid-fire, fast-paced learning now sit in the rearview mirror. You are ready for finals week, or at least you should be. If there was a groove to find, you’ve found it. Maybe it’s waking up at the same time every morning, hitting the gym in the afternoons, or sneaking off to do drugs in the middle of your three-hour studio class. I’m not going to judge you for the habits you’ve formed to persevere during the quarter. They are what got you here. In fact, I respect them. The registrar doesn’t.

The finals schedule throws a wrench in the gears; it gums up the works. You could even say it makes a hash of all the habits it took you ten weeks to build. Not to be captain obvious, but different people peak in ability at different times of the day. Some people are up at the crack of dawn, while others don’t open their eyes until lunchtime. It’s mostly genetic, and there is no way around it other than planning our schedules to match it as much as possible, which is what we do. So when my 9:30 a.m. class had a 6:00 p.m. final, I was dazed and confused. Why would the registrar subject me to such abuse? It hurt my brain and my grade. I needed to find out why.

To try and learn more about the pain the registrar takes students through, I took a deep dive into the depths of forbidden knowledge closely guarded by the registrar. After searching for eons, I found the key to unlock their dark secrets. It was on their website under the “Faculty & Staff” dropdown, a section no student would dare click on. A dirty trick of a security measure, one strong enough to divert all students. Except for me.

This mystical webpage had an archaic chart governing when each class has its final, based on the time and day of the week the class normally meets during the quarter. This borderline legible chart was my holy grail, the answer to all of my questions, the rhyme to the reason why the rug was pulled on me when I needed it most—a glimpse of the registrar’s infinite wisdom.

Every 2024 Winter Quarter MWF class starting at 9:30 or 10:00 a.m. will have its final exam on Tuesday from 6:00 to 8:00 p.m. That’s it. It’s all they say. There is no explanation as to why they have tormented me, no hidden reasoning behind their decision. All I gained was the knowledge that my class was not facing our plight alone and a ravenous hunger to find a solution. The registrar is grossly neglecting modern, proven-by-science scheduling wisdom, and they haven’t even stooped down to my level to tell me why–if a reason even exists. I am doing worse on my finals because of this sort of scheduling decision. Registrar, this isn’t a breakup; I am not saying it’s my fault. It’s yours. For no reason, you are changing final exams to times when students are proven to do worse. Whether this is a malicious attempt to sabotage our grades or an obliviousness unrivaled by the rest of humankind, this has to stop. Registrar, get your act together.